Harry Needs Those Pictures
by The fishes
Summary: Hagrid gifted Harry a photo album of his parents. Well, who were the friends he wrote to for the pictures? Remus Lupin's emotions as he received Hagrid's letters requesting for those pictures. One-shot.


**AN: I don't own any part of the Harry Potter Universe.**

Remus Lupin cracked an eye open and groaned. He had, had a rough full moon last night and the incessant tapping of the nefarious bird was grating on his nerves. No one wrote to Remus anymore, he did receive an occasional letter from McGonagall, Dumbledore or Hagrid enquiring about his well being, not to mention there were some odd letters from the ministry reminding him of some or the other restrictions on werewolves but that's it. In the aftermath of that Halloween night several painful years ago, the world had forgotten about the collateral damage called Remus Lupin, the now lonely werewolf.

He shifted in his bed, willing the bird to go away but the tapping didn't stop.

"Okay, I am coming. I am coming." He muttered hoarsely as he shuffled to his window to let the bird in.

The owl hopped on his much abused kitchen table. Remus fetched the bird a cup of water and then asked her to wait as he hunted for food.

He sighed, his supplies were running out. He broke off a piece from his bread and offered it to the owl, before sitting down with the remaining bread and a cup of water.

"I am sorry, this is not as good as the buttered toast and pumpkin juice you get at Hogwarts but this is all I have," He told the bird rather morosely.

The owl hooted softly, she was a pretty thing too. Snowy white with intelligent, almost humane eyes. She stuck her leg out for him.

Remus smiled to himself as he saw Hagrid's untidy scrawl on the letter. The owl hooted again.

"Thank you!" Remus whispered, the owl hopped on his shoulder and nipped his ear affectionately.

Remus was strangely struck with this act of intimacy, animals generally were agitated around him, especially after a full moon.

"You are free to rest here, before you leave." He whispered. The owl hooted her thanks and then hopped off his shoulder, onto the table, folding her wing under her feathers. Remus watched the owl for a few seconds before opening Hagrid's letter.

 _Dear Remus,_

 _How are you? This is Hedwig (Harry's owl), she is a smart one, this bird. I have sent her to you with a purpose and instructions and she won't leave till she gets it from you. Loves Harry to bits this one._ _I don't know if I should tell you this but seeing how close James, Lily and you were, I think you should know. Something terrible happened a few days ago._ _I can't tell you how, I can't tell you why but Harry came face to face with You-Know-Who. Yes, he came back to England, was residing in the castle this whole time. Dumbledore has been livid with himself and everyone else. No one realised that he was in the school, he could have seriously harmed other children._ _I am blabbering, aren't I?_ _So, yes, Harry faced You-Know-Who again and beat him again. Not even 12 years old and he has beat You-Know-Who twice already! However, this time he nearly died in the process. As I write this to you, he is lying unconscious at the Hospital Wing. Has been unconscious for over 2 days, Dumbledore is worried. We all are, I saw his last night. He looked so tiny, lying there covered in bandages._ _I am sure he will wake up soon, he is a strong lad. Just like James._ _Which brings me to my request, Harry never had the chance to know James and Lily. The Dursleys never told him anything about them, he hadn't even seen a picture of the two of them. He listens to us hungrily as we talk about them._ _It was one of his friends (Ron Weasley) who pointed out that Harry had found a magic mirror over the Christmas break where he claimed he could see his family. Ron said he was worried that Harry might go mad with the need of seeing his parents again and again._ _I thought it would be nice if I could create a picture book for Harry. That way he won't put himself at risk for wanting to see his parents again._ _I request you send me every picture you have of their lives at Hogwarts. I am sure Harry would appreciate the effort._

 _Love_

 _Hagrid_

Remus put the letter down and rubbed his forehead. Letters about Harry always clawed at his heart. He remembered the day Harry was born. How happy James and Lily were. How the traitor had wept on seeing the baby boy, claiming he would do everything to protect him. How Peter had been so afraid of holding Harry and how he had looked at the tiny bundle of joy and sworn that this child would have all his love and dedication. He remembered sunny mornings when he had heart to heart talks with Harry. He remembered the one winter they had together when a bundled up Harry would curl up next to a shaggy black dog and sleep. For the life of him, to this day, Remus was astounded at how good an actor Padfoot was. He always made it look like James and his family were his first priority. Oh! How stupid they had all been!

He shook his, trying to remove the bitterness from his mind. He didn't want to let it consume him again. It made him useless, more useless than he already was.

He read through Hagrid's letter again and sighed, summoning a dirty, dust covered box from a long forgotten corner of his home.

He wiped the top of the box with his fingers. It said _Marauders_ on the lid. He closed his eyes as he fingered the letters fondly, remembering the best decade of his life. He never got to ask Padfoot, why? Maybe he should visit Padfoot once. Maybe there is an explanation, a logical one. One where he was not the traitor. Maybe he was under a spell. The Padfoot he knew, would never have hurt James, he would never have broken the trust of a friend so cruelly.

He withdrew his hand, his eyes flying open. No. No. There was no other explanation. Dumbledore had told him about the Fidelus Charm, Dumbledore had told him that Padfoot was the secret keeper. No, the Marauders were dead, they had been for a long time. Nothing and no one can change that.

He looked at the box again, he had refused to touch it since their funeral. He had packed every memory and protected it with great care but he had never touched the box again. It was too painful.

Briefly, he wondered if giving Harry a means to know his parents was worth the pain he would go through at living those memories.

He made a disgusted noise at himself. The poor boy, the little baby he had loved so dearly did not even know how well he was loved by his parents. How much they adored him and what brilliant people they were. It's the least he could do for James' son. It's the least he could do for the friend who risked his own life to help Remus, day in and day out. Maybe by doing this he could repay James' debt.

Gingerly, he opened the lid and the first picture, of four boys laughing at him knocked his breath out.

He looked at James, with his arms around Padfoot and him. He stared at Padfoot, winking at him from the image.

"How could you, Sirius? How could you?"

His mind screamed at the boy in the picture but he sat frozen, his hands trembling as he picked the picture up.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had opened Pandora's box, he might as well live through it.

James had been obsessed with capturing all their moments together, which meant he had a lifetime of pictures.

He carefully sifted through them. Picking out pictures with just James and Lily in the frame.

He didn't want Harry to wonder about the Marauders. He didn't want Harry to find out that because of one Marauder, two were dead and the one who survived was a werewolf. Some part of him removed his pictures because he didn't want Harry's questions. Why had he not visited Harry even once while he was growing up? If James and Lily meant so much to him why had he not tried to meet Harry, tell him about his parents? Act like a distant uncle? Dumbledore had offered to pay him for staying next to the Dursleys as a neighbour. He had offered to make arrangements which would allow him to monitor how the Dursleys treated Harry. Even provide another layer of protection to Harry. But it was so painful to even think of being near Harry, that he had refused flat out. Over the years Remus had often wondered how different things would have been for Harry and him had he accepted but he never spared much thought to it until he received an outraged letter from Hagrid. Harry was made to live under the stairs. When Hagrid had first seen him, he looked malnourished, neglected and miserable. So, miserable that the kid practically jumped the chance of leaving his aunt at a moment's notice. Remus often shuddered to think of what could have happened had a Death Eater tracked Harry down and offered to take him away to the world of magic.

He dropped the pictures in his hand at that thought. This was too much to bear. He had sifted through some of their childhood memories but he needed to get out to clear his head.

Remus walked out of his cottage, into the woods, he stilled in front of a tree. His friends had made marks on this tree the last time all of them were together for a full moon, before James had gone under hiding.

He traced the antler marks with his fingers.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry." He whispered before withdrawing his hand and staring at the tree for a long time. By the time he returned, it was already way past lunch time. He didn't care. He wasn't hungry. He pulled the stack of pictures to him and started sifting through them again. This time he intentionally left some pictures of the Marauders for Harry. He wished Harry would pick on these hints. He wished Harry would ask Hagrid about the pictures and who sent them. He can't change the past, but he can try and be there for Harry from now on.

He smiled softly at the picture of James, Lily, and baby Harry. James had sent him this picture to show him how much Harry had grown in the few weeks that he hadn't visited them.

There were other pictures of baby Harry on a stag held in place by a laughing Sirius. Pictures that showed how much he was loved by those who loved James and Lily but those pictures would raise questions he was not ready to answer.

So, he let that family picture be the last picture for Harry's stack of images. He wondered if he wanted to make copies of those pictures. He sighed, of course, he wanted to make copies. These were his memories too.

He made copies and packed away the box again, to be left in it's place from now to forever.

 ** _Dear Hagrid,_**

 ** _I am doing well. Thank you for asking. I hope you are well too. I don't know how to feel about Harry endangering his life this way. I know had Lily been alive she would have skinned him for taking such a risk. James on the other hand would have been torn between being proud and letting him off the hook and wanting to throttle him for getting involved at all. Your request would make a very thoughtful gift for Harry. Here are a few pictures from me. All of these document their childhood and adult lives beautifully._**

 ** _I have just one request, let Harry ask you about the source of these pictures. Don't tell him about me before that. I don't want to impose on his life now after being absent for so many years. If he wants to know more about his parents, if he wants to know anything, I will be happy to talk to him but let him come to that conclusion on his own._**

 ** _Please keep me updated about his progress and write to me as soon as he wakes up. If he tells you something about how he got involved, please let me know too._**

 ** _Regards_**

 ** _Remus_**

Hedwig woke up as soon as Remus put his quill down. She looked at him expectantly, hooting softly. He smiled. This was Harry's pet. He felt connected to Harry in some way.

"Here," he said holding up the package. "Take this to Hagrid. And take good care of Harry."

Hedwig nipped his fingers affectionately and flew out of the window.

Remus stared after her, his heart feeling lighter. He hoped that Harry would enquire about him. He hoped he would get a chance to know Harry. He wondered if Dumbledore would be happy to accommodate him near Harry, if Harry expressed the desire for knowing his parents more. For the first time in many years, Remus Lupin felt a tiny glimmer of hope.


End file.
